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They will say things like “Did you know that the word ‘virgin’ had a different meaning when the bible was written and it doesn’t actually mean that somebody hasn’t had sex before?

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They argue that you’re going to have this deep, nagging pull towards sexual variety that will corrode your current relationship, unless you exorcise that demon earlier in life through lots of pre-marital sexual experiences. Here’s an example: Let’s say you’ve been married for ten years.

One day, while out for coffee by yourself, a devastatingly attractive stranger starts flirting with you. According to what I’ve studied of Relationship Science (Psychology applied to relationships), the answer to this question depends on how satisfied you are with your marriage.

Sometimes people will throw arguments at you that you hadn’t considered before, and other times it’ll be the same ol’ shill. I’ve once had this objection put to me this way: “What if you discover that you like it hot and heavy and you marry somebody who likes it quiet, lights off, missionary-only?

You’ll be locked-in to the relationship and totally unfulfilled! In many ways, attitude towards sex (waiting or not) can be a quality like “sense of humor”: everybody is slightly different and a mismatch can really eat away at a relationship if not addressed, just like those non-waiting people told you that it can. You may think that because your girl/guy is enthusiastic and open in conversation that they’re going to be the same way in the bedroom.

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It will become a familiar situation: Some friend/acquaintance, biased by their own decisions, will try to poke holes in your decision to wait, and you’ll either hear them out, smile and nod, then dismiss the conversation, or you’ll decide to engage them and argue your case.That is not always the case, especially when it comes to people with little sexual experience.Sex is like martial arts: it is a skill that improves the more you practice and the more techniques you learn.You will rarely hear a married friend make this argument to you.It’s always younger friends who are themselves doing lots of casual dating. If you’re over the age of 17, you’ve probably had a few relationships that involved kissing.The best of these people will argue as your friend, because in their own way they’re genuinely trying look out for you and they feel that they have legitimate, intellectually-sound objections to waiting till marriage that directly impact your future happiness.

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